


Things we'll never hear, Things we'd like to see.....

by RGmolpus



Series: You Are Warned! [13]
Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Gen, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:08:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28983885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RGmolpus/pseuds/RGmolpus
Summary: A thread sprung up on the Lois list about things never to be said, things readers would like to see, and of things unusual and impossible.With permission, I've sorted through the posts, and present them for your consideration.Minor spelling errors and punctuation flaws have been corrected.Name have not been hidden to protect the guilty.
Series: You Are Warned! [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1221524
Comments: 7
Kudos: 14





	Things we'll never hear, Things we'd like to see.....

Brad Jones:

"No traffic at all getting here today."

"That Byerly Vorrutyer, he's such a respectable family man."

Imperial Auditor Count Vorkosigan said, "No, that's not my problem."

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Eric Oppen: 

Pierre le Sanguinaire Vorrutyer: "Please, gentlemen! We can settle this without recourse to violence!"

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Greg Hennessy:

I'd love to see a scene with Miles meeting someone else who served on Kyril Island, where they have a drunken conversation as to EXACTLY WHERE to place the one bomb to ruin most of the infrastructure.

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Gwynne Powell:

"I heard such an interesting debate in the Council of Counts yesterday."

"Those ImpSec officers are such warm, friendly people."

"Oh yes, the Emperor is really looking forward to all the balls and receptions of the next social season."

Any Vorkosigan armsman: "I wish this job had more excitement."

Duv Galeni: "I really need a hobby to fill in all my spare time."

Lady Alys: "I like to just sit around at home in my bathrobe and fluffy slippers."

Ekaterin Vorkosigan: "The best thing about marriage is that you get so much time to relax."

Cordelia Vorkosigan: "Living on Barrayar is just so much fun."

Gregor Vorbarra: "I'm really looking forward to the Council of Counts session, it's always so productive."

Aral: "I think I'll just retire and not do anything."

Roic: "I wish being an armsman was more exciting. Nothing ever happens."

Tuomonen: "Oh yes, I really enjoyed my time working with Lord Auditor Vorkosigan."

Ma Kosti: "Let's just order some takeaway tonight."

Elli Quinn: "I'd really love to settle down on a nice planet."

I'd like to see the get-to-know-you discussions between Alys and Tej's mum. I tend to think of Alys as a very refined, high-class well-bred Lady. But she's Barrayaran,she's been down and dirty in her time, and she knows every trick in the book for survival and success. She's actually about as delicate as a bulldozer, but she hides it well.

I've already mentioned the scene were Aral meets up with Gregor in the Hegen Hub.

The moment when Alys finds out that Ivan is married.

Aral negotiating with the Escobarans after the war. And keeping Sergyar.

Gregor proposing to Laisa

The first landing on Barrayar.

Ivan persuading the Cetagandan High Command to attack a Haut Governor's ship.

"We're setting up a Barrayaran tourism office on Cetaganda. Can't wait to see those bookings start to roll in!"

"I really loved our holiday on Jackson's Whole, it's such a lovely, restful place, with such nice people."

Commodore Koudelka: "Women are lovely creatures, but they're really so fragile and delicate that they need to be protected from anything dangerous or challenging."

Gregor: "I hope I have enough to do today. I'll ask my secretary to fill in a bit more of my time."

Everyone else in the Nexus: "Barrayarans are such warm, gentle people."

Lord Auditor Vorthys: "No thanks, I think I'll skip dessert."

Piotr Vorkosigan: "How about we talk through the whole situation and solve it without violence."

Count Vordarian: "In line for the camp stool? No, I had no idea I was a possible heir."

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Janet Gibbons:

Beta Colony may have allowed the loss of Sergyar because they had X number usable planets in reserve. Barrayar is, after all, "a backwater planet". Beta is not. I would love to see their GDP.

Scenes I'd love to see: Aral, Gregor and Simon discussing Miles's future after his performance in the War of the Hegen Hub. Miles saw what was happening there before any of them did. He also saw the solution to the problem. I think that it was at this time that Gregor first thought that Miles would be a perfect contemporary Imperial Auditor. But Gregor might have thought that since he had some good Auditors on hand from Ezar's era that he'd wait to see if Miles would break (additionally) the Empire record of most treasonous acts before appointing him the youngest Imperial Auditor.

Lunch I'd like to attend: Commodore Tung, Admiral Aral Vorkosigan with Admiral Naismith on the Prince Serge.

The Tea That Most Assuredly Did Occur: Lady Cordelia, Professora Helen Vorthys, and Drou before the Famous Baba on the Infamous Sofa Meeting of the Parents or "When Cordelia Plays The Go Between Again"

Scene I'd like to see: The war between Barrayar and Cetagenda prevented by Miles and Ekaterin that Ivan mentioned in Captain Vorpatril's Alliance.

Aral and Cordelia going all gooey when they first held the twins.

Questions I would like answered: Why wasn't Miles's first born named Aral? Is Aral a diminutive of Alexander like Sasha is? Askasha for Arkady?

If Kat was disrespectful to Ekaterin why wasn't Sasha disrespectful to Alexander? (I come from a long line of people that never use nicknames)

Alys's dressmakers arriving at Vorkosigan House to dress Ekaterin to find that Ekaterin only needs them to be suppliers not designers.

Scenes that I'd love to see: Gregor and Laisa's wedding with the Glorious Butterbugs winking. Also the fireworks! I love fireworks!

Ekaterin's gardens. All of them. I have 2 vocations (Yes I mean breath and bone) Nursing and Gardening.

I have a question about "Keroslav District Baking Styles" mentioned many times. How can you have a district without a Vor? Oh my! Could that be where he and Sasha have their love affair?

Scenes I'd love to see: The cave in the Dendarii mountains where Piotr, Ezar and Yuri (prior to his madness- possibly a mutation- possibly secondary to radiation exposure) in which Yuri drew the short straw and was forced into the Imperium.

20 years later prior to the overthrow of Mad Yuri: Piotr and Ezar thumb wrestling as to whose direct descendants might face the possibility of their body parts ending up in the museum. Piotr's relief at winning the wrestle. Hence the Vorkosigan's devotion and dedication to the Vorbarras.

Not to mention that Gregor must have been the adorable little boy.

Any cleaning service hired to clean Vorkosigan house: "I just love the brown and silver bugs barfing everywhere."

ImpSec agents sent to be Ivan and Tej's outer perimeter: "I hate the long afternoons when we have nothing to look at."

Every last ImpSec agent upon seeing the Cetagandan Order of Merit around the little git's neck. Because, of course, nepotism.

Lady Cordelia: "I'm not sure how to handle this situation."

Duv Galeni: "Look it up yourself."

Duv Galeni: "Yeah, Ser Galen was my father I'm proud to say."

Pym: "Wow! That's a snazzy butterbug! Can I take some home?"

Mark: (confronted in the alley by a couple guys threatening Kareen) "Yikes! I better call for backup."

Enrique: "What on Escobar does this formula mean?"

Roic: "I can't reach this shelf."

Taura: "Nah, I'm not in the mood (for anything)."

Rish: "I can't touch my toes!"

Who took the first wormhole jump? There should be a planet named after them.

Who did the first neural implant surgery? How did they know what to do?

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Markus Baur:

Leo Graf: "Lets run the calculations, before we put this thing there. Trust me, I am an engineer"

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Pouncer:

What does Nikki do when the med techs tell him his tests show that he isn't sufficiently 5-D sensitive to qualify for Jump Implants, and pilot training?

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Richard G. Molpus:

Ivan Vorpatril: "Yea, I'm responsible. It's my fault."

Zap the Cat: "Oh, No! Pregnant AGAIN!"

Ma Kosti: "I really hate to cook,"

Gregor Vorbarra: "Naw, let's not do that."

Some Haut Lady in the Celestial Garden: "I'll mix the Terence-C genes with the Vorkosigan sample; what could possibly go wrong?"

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WalterStuartBushell:

Elli Quinn: "I’d really love to settle down on a nice planet."  
“I really made a mistake not marrying Miles and becoming a Countess.”

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WILLIAM A WENRICH:

I’d like to see some new technology. The wormhole closer from Komarr could lead to a new understanding of the inner structure and, possibly, a way to tell where a wormhole goes without a blind jump.


End file.
